In support of Family Mediation week, we outline 5 things to bear in mind when you attend mediation.
These points may not come easily if you haven't been getting on with your ex but, if you keep them in mind, you are more likely to reach a successful outcome in mediation.
- Aim to say as many positive things as possible about the other person. If you set a positive example, it will set a positive tone and invite a positive response.
- Use language which is all about us and our; not me and yours. This is particularly important when speaking about your children as you will continue to be their parents even though you are separating but it is also helpful when discussing finances as you will need to consider your combined financial resources when working out a settlement.
- Remain polite. If your ex makes provocative comments ignore them and focus on the real issues and problem solving.
- Acknowledge feelings, without agreeing. If the other person expresses anger, frustration or any other strong feeling you can acknowledge the feeling without acknowledging its validity.
- Listen carefully. You may feel under pressure to use mediation as a means of getting your point across to your ex, but mediation is all about reaching an agreement so pause, really listen to understand where ex is coming from and show that you have listened by confirming what you have heard before you respond.
Remember the mediator is there to make sure that both of you get a chance to say what you feel needs saying, particularly if one of you is more articulate or used to explaining their position than the other.
Our team of experienced Family Solicitors are all members of Resolution, the national association of family lawyers, and abide by the Resolution Code of Practice which commits them to act to resolve disputes in a non-confrontational way.
The content of this article is intended to provide a general guide to the subject matter. Specialist advice should be sought about your specific circumstances.
